Last night in Key West, at the Bourbon Street Pub, I ran into two gay men from Orlando flanked by their grizzled fag hag. A note of interest, first, is the fag hag–classic Florida trailer park empress: a sunburnt flab sack with a violently Cloroxed nest of hair. Her top bicuspid tooth was long gone, showing a dark hole between the yellowed smokers’ teeth. The two were men were haughty Palin-lovers parading their ignorance by stabbing their cigarettes at me emphatically while explaining how they were fiscal Republicans and therefore innocent. Declaring innocence before being charged automatically indicates overwhelming feelings of guilt.
I asked how they could choose to be proud members of a group that specifically focuses on demolishing the Republic one infrastructure and commonweal and a time. kinda like being a member of the Klan, sending them money, having bar-b-que with the Imperial Wizard, but saying you, yourself, are not racist. (No… just have proxy assholes or social mercenaries get their hands dirty so you don’t have to!)
Clorox rasped out what she intended to be a wildly funny joke as her two gay comrades drunkenly jeered her on.
“If you drop an apple and Obama simultaneously, which one hits the ground first?”
I stood duly perplexed.
She grinned widely, smoke hissing through her tooth-holes and said: “The apple… because Oboama’d be stopped by the noose.” Great howls ruptured from all three, broken intermitently by coughing fits and lung wheezing.